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Vorkosigan, Results Beyond Hope


We're preparing for the state writing test (next week, AHHH!), and so my fifth graders are having to do a lot of writing based strictly off of prompts. They've missed being able to write about anything they want, and so I wanted to give them a chance to do a free write. They were supposed to write an essay about a page long, on any topic they wanted. As expected, I got papers of varying quality about families, vacations, school, and zombies*. And then I got this one, from my student who I describe as gifted, lazy, and very... unique:



Bunnys, bunnys, everywhere.

The smell of bunnys is in the air.

Bunnys cannot breathe in the sea.

Bunnys also have stinky pee.

Bunnys also eat a lot.

I caught a bunny in a pot.

Bunnys are as thin as keys.

That is why they eat peas.

Bunnies also are different.

Some of their legs are also bent.

Bunnys are really thin.

I can stick them to the wall with a pin.

Bunnys can be very sweet.

That is why we use them for meat.

Bunnys are everywhere.

But they also pee.

*Zombies and those annoying paper poppers are the current fads in my classroom.


Oh, wow. I love/hate getting responses like that, though, because I never know how to grade them if they go off-prompt but produce something amazing. (I mean, I know how I SHOULD, but it's so tempting to do otherwise...)

It's interesting that your student chooses to make bunnies thin, since usually bunnies look kind of plump. The choice reminds me of these lines from the folksong "Mr. Rabbit":

Mr. Rabbit Mr. Rabbit,
Your ears are mighty thin
"Yes dear Lord, they're for splitting the wind
Every little soul's gonna shine, shine
Every little soul's gonna shine along.

(The rest of the song describes other attributes of Mr. Rabbit.)

... But of course, rabbits' ears *are* thin, whereas your poor poet, if the rabbit s/he's caught in a pot is thin, it won't make much of a meal.

Hah! Awesome poem. I love it when kids come out with stuff like that. It really breaks up the chore of marking.